• me: i've waited 50 years for this
  • my mom: you're 17
  • me: i've waited 50 years for this
  • worldfamousprofessor:

    i’ve been watching vines for like four hours





this episode emotionally scarred me

oh god it’s transparent


Trippiest episode of sponge bob


    when your parents break a promise











or, you know, teach people not to rape other people…

Sadly, even if you teach people not to rape, they’ll do it anyway if they really want to, so these are still helpful in the event of rape, OR assault.

These self defense tips are not here to tell a person not to get raped, they are here to tell a person what to do in the event where someone is attempting to rape or assault them.
We do need to teach people not to rape, but we do not yet live in a world where rape and assault does not happen, and until we do, it’s important that we know how to protect ourselves in the event that it does happen. 

Someone get tumblr user  shinjaninja a medal.

This is something that some Navy SEALs taught girls in my gym class in high school. But there’s another rather effective (and kinda cool) tactic to use.
They used myself (A tall kid at the time, not very big but rather tall) and a rather skinny, tiny short girl for a demonstration. They had me grab the girl’s neck from behind—as pictured in the bottom left—and keep her in a tight headlock. Then the SEALs instructed the girl to drop to one knee and allow gravity to flip me over her shoulder onto my fucking head.
That’s right. No matter how small you might be, or how big and strong your attacker is, you can shift their center of gravity against them and flip them over shoulder with little to no effort on your part, allowing you time to land a blow and get the fuck out of there. And ever since then, I’ve taught my female friends that trick if time and circumstance ever allowed.Stay safe, ladies.

Imma add another tip:
Pointer and middle finger right under the jaw and push up. Try it, it hurts like hell, and it will get them to lift their head up at which point you can kick or elbow loose.

That one, and under the nose, too. Place your thumb under it, and shove upward. They’ll either back off out of reflex, or you’ll break their nose. Plus, it will shatter their concentration, and they won’t be able to keep a grip on you, which will let you get loose, and give you an opportunity to either escape, or employ another tactic.

Everyone needs to see this. Spread it




1. If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dot, you will only see one color, pink.
2. Green Catastrophe: If you stare at the black + in the center, the moving dot turns to green.
3. Reality Shatter: Now, concentrate on the black + in the center of the picture. After a short period of time, many if not all of the pink dots will slowly disappear, and you may only see a green dot rotating.
 What does this tell us about the nature of reality? There really is no green dot, and the pink ones really don’t disappear. If our brains are so easily fooled, what aspects of reality are we missing?





    when u really want a thing and someone offers to buy it for u



    i need to get fucked by something other than my life


    i need to get fucked by something other than my life



"Mi scusi, ho bisogno di un francobollo e una busta" “Italia o Estero?” “Italia, Italia” “A chi mandi la lettera, se si può sapere?” “Ad un ragazzo” “Ah, capisco. Beh allora ti do il francobollo con la Nutella. Così si addolcisce ancora di più.”
Tabaccai gentili che ti mettono di buon umore di prima mattina. No vabbé, una deve dichiararsi e le danno i francobolli con la Nutella. Ahahah


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